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Theresa Beatrice Lam.
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Monday, October 16, 2006
Praise the Lord


MY GRAMPS!!!




yes, praise the Lord for "miraculously-psycho" me to get my ass out and head to church for mass. i went to St. Francis's for evening mass alone, yes, alone. i hadnt step into a church since how-long-was-that. so yesterday, everything went quite well. i remembered how to do the sign of the cross, when to stand and sing with the others, when to sit and listen to the Father preach etc. but the only shitty thing that happened was that, i forgotton how to recite the Apostle's Creed. it was kinda embarrassing cause, at first, i was rather proud at myself for being able to recite the Our Father and Hail Mary without missing a word, so i was kinda loud, or should i say QUITE LOUD. and when it comes to Apostle's Creed, i was like mumbling, miming, pretending like i know the words to it. okay whatever. at some point of time whilst singing hymns songs, i have a sudden urge to cry, and i dont know why! prolly cause the lyric's sad or whatever, just dont tell me its because im holy. cause, im not holy, at all. bla bla bla. then for closing prayers, i prayed for everyone i love and forgotten to pray for myself. but i doubt God would wanna listen to my prayers anyway. as long as my loved ones are healthy and happy, its good enough. then acting really weird, i came out of the church looking like i'd seen God. i wonder..

lately i've been realizing how much i love my grandma. thank you Lord for giving her strength when she was diagnosed with cancer. and thank you Lord for being the hands of the surgeon, making the operation a smooth and successful one. i'd be so helpless if i were to lose her. (shit, i wanna cry!) i sometimes get mad at her but still she'll conveniently come around when i want something. but i appreciate her more and more everyday. i think shes beautiful. and shes the coolest grandma. i love you, popo!

btw, why dont dreams ever come true? if mine did, i would smile.