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Theresa Beatrice Lam.
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Saturday, November 11, 2006
Light My Fire

drama drama drama! and if i were to begin elaborating on what happened right now, i wouldnt finish for a very long time.

i couldnt ask for anything more than to finally having a 10-days break from the exams. the past whole week was full of stress, mugging(yalah not that much but still enough to kill me), limited sleep and dramas(like ive mentioned). im so tired, so damn very tired. i cant wait to take my last paper on the 20th, not that i give a fuck about science mcqs, just that i wanna get over and done with this shit. i feel like a fucking freak when i gotta wake up so damn early for the past 5 days(for the exams), thats not how i live man.. luckily theres no exams till 20th, so i woke at 6:20pm today, felt fucking great. rotted on my sofa and had peanutbutter&jelly sandwich for "breakfast". after "breakfast", i took the Classified out and started looking for jobs. and this very one advertisement caught my eye; "PRIVATE DETECTIVE WANTED. intensive training, bike&camera, salary 2K-5K" isnt this cool or what! but nah, im not into the sherlock holmes/james bond shit. after few mins theres several ads cut-offs on my table but im too lazy to go make enquiries, so i went on to clean my com desk and then caught few episodes of the L word. el word = shane/kate.M = my ideal lez partner. i'd so do kate i tell ya. i think im gender confused right now? i feel like a bi, or am i not? or am i just heterosexual? i felt like the Theresa i used to live in(just a lil more hardworking this time and a lil more gay). riiight. haha. alright, not funny. go and die lah, confused bitch.

talking abt dying, my ideal death scene would be a fast and painless death on a bed. i dont wanna die slowly, its depressing and so painful to watch(for my loved ones). after my death, the people who loved me will mourn, and those who fucking hate me will celebrate. a funeral with people crowding the church wouldnt be appropriate. the fewer people present, the better. i just want my family/relatives and friends who are really sincere about visiting me for the last time at my death bed to be there.

this aint a suicide note, dont worry. just thinking.. hah so much for death. one things for sure. im sick of trying so hard to make anything and everything work. and in the end i only get half way there. couldnt things get any better?

there's like this bloody demon fucking with my head.


[edit] btw, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY CHARIS! looove ya! [/edit]