I shut my mouth with you

Hatiku Sengsara
life's been pretty dull, its like as if i owe my life to work, work and work. i reckon Warehouse is the most sibuk retail place to work at, the job itself is waaay tougher than the rest of the retail shops i know. but still id choose retail over fnb line. whatever lah im just glad that its my offday today after EIGHT LONG FUCKING DAYS. fucking 8 days, one week and one day, no offday in between that 8 fucking days, WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK SCHEDULE IS THIS???! fucking supervisor, gi mampos lah!

i need something. something that could give me peace for a moment. ahhh i want... okay no. nevermind. anyway my mind's been so screwed up these days. so many things weighing in there and it seems to get heavier as days goes by. ive stopped taking my mother's money, and im feeling miserable! not that im trying to boast that im "independent already lor" okay! i just feel that why must one take parent's money when you yourself is working, right or not? the shitty thing is that, it doesnt sound as simple as it is. thats why now i have only $1 and a few cents left in my savings account. urrgh. i gotta wait till feb 7 for my pay, just tahan for 2 weeks more. theresa, you can do it. i dont even have fucking money for my transport. talking abt transport! i reckon i gotta work till next yr to afford myself a bike. dammit la. this sucks. mcm gitu..? :( but on a brighter note, my mom and i will most prolly move out by mid-year if nothing screws up. im kinda stoked about it. i cant wait for that day man, that day would be the fucking day ive been waiting for after 17 fucking long years. sighhh.

i wish for so many things, so many things i tell you. yea call me greedy or whatever. nobody is ever satisfied, trust me. as i was saying, i wish for many things but there's only one thing that i really really fucking wish for; i wish that the situation that im in now will improve. 06 wasnt my best year, in fact it was close to being my worst year. shitty things happened, stayed broke, work like fuck, never got out of my box and have fun, got no life. how i wish im on my way to living the way id like and doing the things ive dreamt.

never really did much today, but in all, my offday goes like this:
-slept in today till 2
-had chicken rice for "breakfast"
-trying out the new sofa in living room, rolling around etc
-watched kids central
-then switched to channel 8 cos my grandma wants to watch this singing-variety show for old folks
-i could not tahan this ahpek's singing so i went back to my room
-and watched anime (youtube is love)
-mom came home looking so furious cos she updated my bankbook and ya she saw the $1 something written under "Balance"
-had a tsunami argument with her
-but still i ate the kueh tutu she brought home cos im hungry(and thick-skinned)
-doing this stupid blog thing right now
-feeling kinda pathetic :(

my mind gets the best of me. and the worst of me. honestly, i shouldnt be left to my thoughts. ljfsl;dkf[asijdp

PS. sorry to my friends if it seems like ive "ignored" you guys, thats not the case alright, just that i dont even have time for myself. dont worry i'll make it up to you guys especially my girlfriends and sista brian

PSS. sorry yq, we WILL celebrate your birthday okay. hope you understand that all of us are busy with work right now, but we'll still make time for a "belated birthday day-out" okay.. love you! i love you enough to give you a present no money can buy! (and obviously i got no money lah...)

;11:52 AM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

whats with those "indie/emo/whateverscene kids" hanging outside wisma topman uh?
why those richass bitches must start their sentence with "oh my gaaawd!!!"?
whats the commission for those environmental public health act officers/gov dogs who catch ppl for littering cigarette butt uh?
why they wanna hang sadam hussein before letting them finish the prayers? so heartless. (watch video at youtube)
and why must capital punishment be used on sadam? capital punishment sucks uh.
why so many girls like to wear that high waist stretchable belt? i saw ahlians wearing it already and i was like "wtf"
why almost 98% of the rich taitais who comes into my store carries a LV?
why some bitches's voice sounds like a duck in front of their mommys when they wanna get a $209 dress, $119 skinnies and $96 shorts?
whats with ranks? ranking sucks.
why money is never enough?
where to get the best char kway teow?
why this rich bastard (a neighbour of mine) is so gay and irritating?
why rich people like to make a big hoo ha when they take a bus? if not happy then dont take bus la cheebye! haha wtf.
why rich bastards/bitches got no life uh? their life is like just clubbing + get wasted + fuck + shopping + say "omg!" etc etc
whats with those fucking scene kids now uh? i never say ive got experienced or whatever okay, but seriously its such an eyesore man.
why hong kong banned smoking in public area? sounds so stupid itself.
why cant my mom understands that i wanna get a bike for transportation. NOT for racing/riots/fights etc.
why some matreps on friendster are such a loser uh? "hi theresa..nama saya ari... lu cina ke melayu?leh kenal2?u ada hp?leh kip in touch or talk2?" fuck off la cb. APE JERRRR!!!!
why is my handphone bill so high when i dont use that much? i dont love singtel anymore. i shall switch to starhub.
why ppl like to irritate me now uh?
why of all day my period came today?
why shit happens?
why am i being ignored?
why is the outside world so cold?

;1:44 AM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

i dont quite know how to say how i feel

;1:22 AM